


A Drunken Epiphany

by gin95



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Changkyun's in denial, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Im Changkyun | I.M, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Implied Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk - Freeform, Ki's just mentioned, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Showho are also there... figuring it out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25254643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gin95/pseuds/gin95
Summary: But Changkyun noticed that not only did he not mind Hyungwon’s arms around him, but also that he actually liked it. Welcomed it even. And maybe would long for it in the future. And maybe his platonic feelings towards his friend, wasn’t exactly as platonic as he would like them to be. Changkyun froze at the thought, not knowing what to do with the feelings that somehow came rushing down. He tried to breathe in and out to even his fast-beating heart, but somehow it made it even worse since all he could smell was Hyungwon.( Or an au where Changkyun didn’t think that he’d ever see one of his friends in a different light. Turns out, it only takes a little bit of alcohol and cuddling to change his mind)
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Im Changkyun | I.M
Comments: 7
Kudos: 93





	A Drunken Epiphany

“Hyung! What the hell is taking you so long?” Changkyun had asked to an empty hallway, a little bit irritated, a little bit exasperated. He leans back to the couch and stares at the ceiling and wonders how he got here in the first place, waiting for Jooheon to finish getting ready for a dumb party that they were invited to at the last minute. Changkyun had refused to go, but Jooheon had insisted on going and didn’t want to go alone, even though he knows half the population at their school.

“It’s not the same!” Jooheon whines, “my platonic soulmate won’t be there,”

Changkyun had rolled his eyes and bit his tongue that the rest of their friend group was going to be there so it wasn’t like Jooheon was going to miss anything. Especially since he had the tendency to leave Changkyun by himself once he surrounds himself with other people. And Changkyun wasn’t in the mood to go to a party only to be left alone in a corner, no sir, not tonight. He didn’t know what Jooheon had been thinking since the younger has been in a terrible mood all week, after finding out that he didn’t get the internship that he’s worked his ass for.

He knew it was going to be competitive but he at least thought that he’d be considered. He was. Until the son of the superintendent had “donated” a huge amount of money just so his son could get it. It was unethical, but yet the school not only accepted the late entry, but also made him the winner. It would’ve given Changkyun the opportunity to work with companies that would’ve launched his career after college. But yet, he was defeated by unfortunate circumstances and he had to deliver the bad news to his parents. Not only were they already against his chosen major, but the fact that he didn’t get the one thing that could’ve proven them wrong was another blow to his ego.

Jooheon was finally making his way to Changkyun, apologizing nonstop.

“Sorry, sorry, Kyun. I just wanted to look extra pretty,” he said.

Changkyun finally looks at his friend, who was currently tousling his hair in their hallway mirror, trying to make it look like it didn’t take such a long time to correctly place each strand on his head. If he had the choice, he would’ve just ruffled it, just like he did with his hair. The older was currently wearing dark skinny jeans that hugged his butt and showed off the muscles on his thighs. His shirt, or blouse, whatever the hell it was showed enough, but not too much and he had his orange hair styled off his face. Jooheon even fished out the non-existent leather jacket he’s buried deep in his closet. Changkyun had jokingly called it his fuckboy bait.

“You’re already pretty, hyung,”

Jooheon blushes, “Shut up, you know what I mean,”

Changkyun nodded. He did know and if he was in a better mood he probably would’ve taken double the time to look presentable or ‘fuckable’ in Minhyuk’s crass choice of words. It was rare for all seven of them to be in the same party since they all had different schedules. But Changkyun wouldn’t say that he was close to all of them like he was with Jooheon. Especially since he’s known Jooheon since they were practically in diapers. Changkyun wouldn’t admit it, but he had studied hard just to get in the same university as Jooheon. Was he dependent on his one and only friend? Probably but he really didn’t want to admit it. Plus, breaking in a new best friend when you already have one was too much work.

Jooheon was the one that introduced him to the other five since he was a year ahead of Changkyun. Once he finally joined him at the university, Jooheon practically threw him into the pool of five strangers, making him either sink or swim. Don’t get him wrong, all of them were nice enough to make small talk, but Changkyun was an idiot when it came to strangers. Not only was he quiet, he was also awkward to have around. If Jooheon’s mom hadn’t been roommates with Changkyun’s mom in college, Changkyun knew that he’d probably still be a loner since Jooheon was his main boo.

Jooheon finally turns his attention to the younger and frowns a little bit.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Changkyun looked down just to make sure he wasn’t naked. He wasn’t. He was basically wearing a white tee with his favorite jeans that were tight around the ass but still breathable around his crotch. He thought he looked pretty good, albeit simple.

“Uh, clothes?” Changkyun had answered questioningly.

Jooheon shakes his head, “I get that Kyun,” he sighs, “But it’s a _party_. You know? Where people mingle? Where you might be able to get _dicked_ down?”

Changkyun frowns. He definitely was not planning on getting dicked down tonight. Jooheon should’ve known that especially since his company has been a little terrible lately. He was only going because Jooheon was going to hold it against him if he didn’t. Also free booze, is always a good incentive.

He tells Jooheon this to which his best friend just shakes his head, “I get that, but also, getting pretty and stuff might make you feel better,”

“Is it gonna give me that internship?”

“No,”

“Then you either take how I am or I stay in the dorms,” Changkyun had said with a tone of finality.

Jooheon just sighs, “Fine. Whatever… just don’t be a party pooper, alright?”

Changkyun pouts, “Me? A party pooper? How long have you known me?”

Jooheon just laughs and puts his arms around Changkyun’s neck as they make it out of their dorm and says, “You’re right… they made that entire category just for you,”

Changkyun tries to playfully shove his best friend but laughs with him, nonetheless.

* * *

“You guys made it!” Changkyun hears someone say and turns to find Minhyuk running full speed ahead towards him. Minhyuk had found them outside of the house, with Jooheon playing beer pong with other people while Changkyun was just sipping his alcohol on the side. Minhyuk crashes on him with a resounding sound that Changkyun has a hard time trying to keep the liquid _inside_ the cup. After regaining some type of balance, Changkyun pats the older on the back, hoping that Minhyuk wasn’t drunk enough that a little bit of patting would make him throw up. It was not something that Changkyun could handle right now, being covered in his friend’s puke.

“Good to see you too, hyung,”

“Kyunnie! It’s been too long,” Minhyuk mumbles, his face against Changkyun’s neck.

Changkyun just laughs, “We just saw each other last week, hyung,"

Minhyuk finally lets go and looks at him, pouting, “That’s still too long!”

Changkyun laughs but before he could say anything else, Minhyuk moves on to latch unto Jooheon’s back, which made the younger miss his shot. He was about to berate the person behind him, but as soon as Jooheon sees who it was, his eyes go soft and reddens at the fact that Minhyuk was practically climbing him like a tree. Changkyun scoffs silently.

“They’re idiots, aren’t they?”

Changkyun looks to his side to find Hyungwon with a similar cup in his hand. Changkyun’s always liked Hyungwon. Maybe outside of Jooheon and besides Hyunwoo, Hyungwon was the other one he had the most in common with. Where Minhyuk was a little too much for Changkyun’s taste, Hyungwon was like a silent tide, sometimes coming in when Changkyun needed him to and sometimes, coming in, a little bit unbidden. Changkyun laughs and knows exactly what the older’s talking about and nods.

“Do you know how long Jooheon took just to get ready for this party?”

Hyungwon quirks his eyebrow, “How long?”

Changkyun shakes his head, “Too damn long,”

Hyungwon laughs. Changkyun has always liked his laugh. It was like the air was about to be knocked out of him, as if it took too much out of him to even do such a simple thing. Changkyun smiles and can’t help but chuckle a little since Hyungwon’s laughter was also a little bit contagious.

“Where are the other hyungs?”

Hyungwon looks to the house, that’s filling up with people by the second. He shrugs, “Hoseok and Hyunwoo hyung were a little bit apprehensive about coming in the first place so I wouldn’t be surprised if they are still in the dorms, watching a movie,” he looks around, “And as for Ki, I saw him trying to talk to some dude,”

Changkyun just nods and moves back to go inside the house, to which the older follows him. He fills his cup again. He’s lost track of how much alcohol he’s had but he figured since the room wasn’t exactly spinning, he was still doing okay. He doesn’t see Hyungwon furrow his eyebrow though as he asks, “How many have you had, Kyun?”

Changkyun looks up from his cup, “I don’t know,” he answers honestly. He rarely got upset, if he was being honest. And most of the time, if there was something that he wanted but didn’t get, it would just make him work harder to get something better. But for some reason this internship was hitting him harder than most. Maybe it was because, for the very first time, it was something that he could see himself doing, something that he had hyped himself over the last few months that he was working on it. And for it to just slip out of his grasp just because some asshole had more money than he did, it made him furious. He didn’t even notice that he downed the cup that he just filled and was about to fill up another one, had it not been for Hyungwon putting his hand on top of the cup to stop him. He looks up and sees Hyungwon looking at him, a little concerned at the fact that he basically downed a drink that was pure ethanol. Hyungwon tilts his head as if silently asking if he was okay.

Changkyun just shakes his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. He’d rather just forget, at least for the night and pushes Hyungwon’s hand away and fills his cup halfway. He was a little tipsy, but not enough to black out. But he knew that he was at least a little bit drunk because he was swaying from side to side. How he didn’t fall on his ass when he was on his way back outside was something that he never figured out. What he couldn’t see though was Hyungwon putting his arms around him, not actually touching the younger, as if making a small barrier so that if he fell, he could catch him, and also so that no one would bump into Changkyun.

They move back outside, but unlike before, Jooheon and Minhyuk weren’t where they left them. It was another duo playing a new game, Hyungwon or Changkyun didn’t know either of them, but it wasn’t a surprised since both of them tried to keep their friendship circle to a minimum. Hell, seven was already a lot of people. Changkyun looks around but can’t find his best friend and mutters a cuss word, hoping that it would reach Jooheon, telepathically.

“What did you say?”

Changkyun looks up and is surprised to find Hyungwon still there. He smiles at him languidly, “Hyung! You’re still here,” he was slurring at this point, but Changkyun’s drunken state of mind couldn’t really hear that.

Hyungwon smiles a little, “Yeah. But what did you say?”

Changkyun furrows his eyebrows and pouts, “Jooheon—” he hiccups, “he left me again. Like an asshole… he promised me,” Changkyun was swaying at this point, to which Hyungwon holds his shoulders to stable the younger.

Changkyun moves closer to Hyungwon and has his face practically on the older’s chest. Instead of moving away, Changkyun clutches to Hyungwon, hoping to stabilize himself and hugs the older to himself. If Hyungwon had startled at the sudden closeness, Changkyun wasn’t sober enough to know.

“Mmm… you smell good, hyung,” Changkyun had smelled Hyungwon’s shirt, it didn’t smell like axe or anything overbearing, but it was a nice clean scent. As if he had just put on the shirt right after it was washed. He feels Hyungwon’s chest move as the older chuckles, “Thanks Kyun,” he mutters as he tries to look around for the friends that were supposedly here, but aren’t. Hyungwon had contemplated on what to do. Clearly, Changkyun had drank too much too fast, and even though he wasn’t completely inebriated, Hyungwon knew that it was time for him to go home.

He may not be as close to Changkyun as he was with Jooheon, but they were close enough to where Hyungwon knew that sending the younger home alone was a stupid idea. Especially since Changkyun had the tendency to fall asleep anywhere when drunk. He had remembered when they had a small get together in Kihyun’s dorm and found Changkyun asleep on the island and Kihyun had him scrub it down since the younger had the tendency to fall sleep naked too. Hyungwon laughs at the memory, but remembers thatChangkyun still has his face on his chest. He tentatively looks down to see if he had fallen asleep since he’s been so quiet. Changkyun had his eyes closed but he was humming and was hugging Hyungwon a little tighter, if it was possible.

Hyungwon had never had to deal with a drunk Changkyun before but from what Hoseok had said, the younger gets very clingy and whiny, acting like the true youngest in their group. Granted, Hyungwon had liked Changkyun’s mature side but sometimes he felt like it was more of a facade to who he really was. Changkyun liked to appear strong and hated to look vulnerable in front of other people’s eyes, but Hyungwon had always seen through it, although he never did call him out on it, knowing that there was probably a reason for the mask.

Hyungwon tries to look again, without moving too much, hoping to at least find Jooheon or Minhyuk. But when he doesn’t he sighs and pulls out his phone from the back of his pocket, and sends a message to Jooheon, telling him that Changkyun was with him and that he was too drunk to even go home by himself. He sends another message saying that he was taking him to his and Hoseok’s flat since Hoseok was probably with Hyunwoo.

He shakes Changkyun a little softly, “Kyun,”

Changkyun hums and snuggles even closer to Hyungwon’s chest. If Hyungwon’s heart did a thing, he ignored it.

“Let’s get you home,”

Changkyun moves his head abruptly and looks at the older with a somewhat sly expression, “You need to take me out to dinner first, hyung,”

Hyungwon laughs and flicks the younger’s forehead, “Idiot… good to know your humor’s still intact,”

Changkyun smiles a little bit dopily, with his dimples popping out of his cheeks. Hyungwon tries to move but somehow, Changkyun’s grip on him tightens, as if he was scared to let him go. He clears his throat, “You need to let go of me or we’re gonna end up falling on the ground, face first, if we walk like this,”

Changkyun pouts and Hyungwon tries not to coo at the sight but helps the younger move his arms from his waist. Hyungwon then puts his own arms around his neck instead, feeling cold at the sudden lost of warmth.

Hyungwon’s flat wasn’t exactly far from the party, but with a drunken Changkyun in tow, it felt even farther. He had gotten a text back from Jooheon, to which he gave him the eyes emoji, but Hyungwon was too tired to even read behind the insinuated text. Besides Changkyun was a little bit hard to handle right now, running away from Hyungwon whenever he had the chance. And since he was drunk, he keeps running to the streets, to which Hyungwon has to yank him to his side so that the oncoming cars wouldn’t kill him. Hyungwon thought he’d be annoyed, since he’s dealt with all his friends drunk. Hyunwoo was too strong and Hyungwon had to somehow knock him unconscious one time just so he could drag his friend in a borrowed store cart. Hoseok laughed at everything and hit anything close to him when he did laugh, which resulted in Hyungwon waking up with bruises that lasted for weeks. Kihyun bit everything in his reach. Minhyuk just cried at every little thing and talked non-stop about Jooheon. And Jooheon was somehow a mixture of Kihyun and Minhyuk at the same time. But he’s never dealt with Changkyun drunk, since Jooheon was mainly the one who looked after the younger. Not that he was complaining, but this was certainly new. Especially the pangs that he was feeling in his chest.

The good thing was that he was wearing a chain for decorative purposes and he was able to hook it to one of Changkyun’s belt loops, which connected the two of them to each other. It seemed like a great idea, but he didn’t know how Changkyun could be so strong drunk, even though his physique wasn’t close to Hyunwoo or Hoseok. Hyungwon had contemplated on knocking him unconscious too.

“Hyung! Look at the flower!” Changkyun had crouched down to the said flower, unconsciously dragging Hyungwon down with him, to which the older had to rub his bony butt at the unwelcome sensation of the hard concrete meeting his ass.

Hyungwon was about to do it, but he looks at Changkyun, who’s somehow waving at the flower as if it would wave back and Hyungwon knew that he couldn’t. He crouches down with Changkyun and instead of looking at the flower, he looks at the younger and finds that he’s really pretty. Small, cat-like eyes, and his eyelashes fanned his face when he blinked. Nose, that was somehow western with how prominent it was on his face. And lips that were small, but naturally pink. _He’s pretty_ , Hyungwon had thought. He smiles but shakes his head and wills the thought to go away, focusing at the task on hand as he slowly drags Changkyun up to a standing position. Changkyun tries to shake Hyungwon off of him, but somehow, Hyungwon was able to handle him since he was slightly more sober than the other.

He really didn’t get paid enough by his friends to be treated this way. But deep down, he’s happy to be taking care of Changkyun for the night, since the younger was a little harder to figure out. Hyungwon’s always been used to people spilling their guts to him, without asking since he was more of a quiet person. But since Changkyun was similar in that way, it was a bit harder to get to know the younger, even if he’s known him for a couple of years now. When they finally make it to his apartment, Hyungwon unlatches the chain, leaving it dangle on Changkyun’s belt loop instead. Changkyun looks sleepier and maybe he would crash soon enough and instead of showering and leaving the younger to himself, Hyungwon waits for him to fall asleep first.

“You want clothes?” Hyungwon had asked, on his way to the kitchen to get a couple of bottles of water to drink.

Changkyun crosses his arms on his chest,“Hyung,” he whines, “If you wanted me naked, you could’ve just asked,”

Hyungwon tries to play the insinuating comment off and rolls his eyes, pushing a water bottle in Changkyun’s direction, “Fine, sleep in your jeans then,”

Changkyun had pouted and in his drunken state, wishes that Hyungwon had put up more off a fight. “I don’t like clothes, hyung,”

Hyungwon laughs, “I know… but it’s weird for me to see someone naked first thing in the morning, so I’m begging you to be a little decent,”

Changkyun smiles and tries to compromise, “A boxer, okay?”

Hyungwon hums, “That’s fine. Just don’t let me catch you sleeping naked on the island, okay?”

“That was one time!”

Hyungwon turns around and deadpans, “It was three times, Kyun,”

“Fine,” Changkyun had huffed and made his way to the bathroom, surprising Hyungwon that he even knew where it was, considering how drunk he was off his mind.

When Changkyun finally makes his way out of the bathroom, Hyungwon was sitting on the couch, already in his own pajamas. He had contemplated on showering but getting Changkyun to his apartment took the wind out of him. Hyungwon looks up from his phone and smiles, “You can take my bed, Kyun,”

Changkyun frowns, “Where will you sleep, hyung?”

“The couch,”

“You don’t fit,”

Hyungwon knew he didn’t fit. Hell none of his friends fit on it. For some reason, the dorm they were at supplied them with the smallest couch known to man and when they had asked the admin to switch it out, they had “conveniently” ran out of the regular sized couches so he and Hoseok were stuck with a couch that was somehow smaller than a loveseat. Hyungwon contemplated on sleeping on Hoseok’s bed but it didn’t sit right with him. He looks at Changkyun again but before he could suggest sleeping on the floor, which sounded terrible since it was always cold and hard, Changkyun took his wrist and walked to his bedroom.

Without saying anything, Changkyun opens up the blanket on Hyungwon’s bed and slips in it, patting the empty space next to him. It wasn’t ideal, sleeping together in a twin bed, but they didn’t have much of a choice. Neither one of them fit on the couch, the floor was a terrible choice to begin with, and Hoseok’s bed was out of the question. So Hyungwon just shrugged and joined the younger, who’s somehow squashed up on the wall so that both of them could fit in a bed that was originally made for one person.

Changkyun turns to his side and snuggles to Hyungwon, throwing his arms across his waist, just like he had when they were standing at the party, only this time they were laying down and Hyungwon doesn’t remember being this close to the younger. He had tried to convince himself that it was so that they’d fit better in the small bed. Hyungwon was too stunned to move, but before he could question him, he feels his eyes slowly closing, welcoming the warmth coming from the younger next to him.

* * *

Changkyun slowly blinks away the sleep from his eyes, and when he opens them, he’s face to face with someone’s chest. It felt too hot and he was in too much clothes to sleep comfortably. _Fuck, how much did you drink, Im Changkyun?_ He was about to make his way out but sees that the night was still young, since he could still see the moon shining in the room. Changkyun remembered being with Hyungwon before he completely forgot everything else due to his drunkenness and hopes that the person in front of him was the older. Anyone at this point would be better than a complete stranger. He slowly looks up and sees Hyungwon’s sleeping figure. Changkyun had never seen him this close. He knew that the older was handsome, hell half of the student population wanted to sleep with him, but Hyungwon had been a little too oblivious to get laid.

Changkyun tried to move away, but somehow, Hyungwon’s arms that were already around his waist, unconsciously tightened his hold. And while he felt a little hot, not knowing whether it was because of the temperature of the room or because of something else entirely, Changkyun felt… comfortable. Being in Hyungwon’s arms was comforting, like he’s always belonged there. He’s never been one to be held. Hugs were welcomed and Minhyuk and Jooheon always gave him a lifetime supply while the others mainly just patted his shoulder or his head. Being completely held for more than ten seconds at a time was a little much for him since he never liked the feeling of being confined. But Changkyun noticed that not only did he not mind Hyungwon’s arms around him, but also that he actually liked it. Welcomed it even. And maybe would long for it in the future. And maybe his platonic feelings towards his friend, wasn’t exactly as platonic as he would like them to be.

Changkyun froze at the thought, not knowing what to do with the feelings that somehow came rushing down. He tried to breathe in and out to even his fast-beating heart, but somehow it made it even worse since all he could smell was Hyungwon. They were in Hyungwon’s room and because of that, his sense of smell was even stronger. The pillow, the blanket, hell the person in front of him, smelled like Hyungwon. And he liked it. He liked the smell of the older, not knowing his smell before since they’ve never really initiated any type of skinship, because neither of them welcomed it. But being in Hyungwon’s arms and feeling them tighten around his waist, Changkyun felt like they belonged there. And while he was having an existential crisis in the middle of the night, Hyungwon was peacefully sleeping, not knowing that while he was off in dreamland, Changkyun was losing his goddamn mind.

To say that Changkyun had been avoiding coming across Hyungwon was an understatement. Jooheon didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he’s stretched the excuse of feeling sad about the lost internship that none of his friends even questioned him about it. Don’t get him wrong, he was still upset about it, but it wasn’t to the capacity where he couldn’t socialize anymore. Besides defeat, feelings were the other emotions that he’s never understood or quite had a grasp on. And his number one defense mechanism was avoidance. Or denial. The two were a little bit interchangeable at the moment.

But of course, he knew that life can’t give him that big of a break.

Changkyun wakes up from his nap to voices in the living room. He knew those voices. Then he hears a familiar laughter and Changkyun pales at the thought of Hyungwon being in his living room at the moment. But before he could hide and lock his bedroom door, Minhyuk barges in and jumps on Changkyun’s bed, hitting his head on the headboard in the process. Changkyun would’ve laughed had it been a different circumstance, but right now, he was too caught up at the fact that Hyungwon was a mere feet away. 

“Get up, get up sleeping beauty!” Minhyuk yelled, while cursing at the headboard for hitting his precious head.

Changkyun grunts and tries to pull away from the older who somehow latched unto his blanketed figure.

“Come on, Kyunnnnn. I haven’t seen you since that party! I’ve been deprived of my jjangcutie!” Minhyuk whines.

Changkyun sighs, “I have a headache, hyung,” he lies, which sounded a little muffled with the blanket covering him.

He feels the bed go back to its original form, as if Changkyun was the only one on the bed now. Changkyun would’ve questioned Minhyuk’s lack of resilience in getting him out of bed when all of a sudden, he feels himself being lifted up, blanket and plushie and all.

“Hyung! What the fuck! Put me down!” Changkyun was basically thrashing around, kicking his feet up and down hoping that Minhyuk would put him down, but there was no way Minhyuk could lift him up on a sober day. The person carrying him was too big and too _sculpted_. Suddenly the figure just chuckles and plops him down on what seems to be the couch. Changkyun finally takes the blanket off of his face and sees the rest of his friends laughing at him, except for Hyungwon who seems to be in deep thought.

“You could’ve just left me on my bed instead of throwing me like a sack of potatoes, hyung,” Changkyun had said, trying to take his attention away from the main person that’s making him act this way.

Hyunwoo laughs, “Sorry Kyun… mandatory movie night,” he says as he ruffles Changkyun’s hair playfully. Changkyun hits his arm and tries to straighten it up so that he’d look at least a little bit presentable.

Changkyun tried to focus on the movie, he really did. But ever since that night, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Hyungwon. And somehow, it’s like he has some type of antenna or radar for the older. Anytime he moved, no matter how minimal, Changkyun noticed. He’s noticed his black raven hair that was getting too long for his own good but yet still looked good on him. He noticed Hyungwon’s long fingers that would cover his mouth anytime he tried to contain his laughter. He noticed his dark eyes, his button nose, and his plump lips. He noticed. He noticed them all. And unlike before where he’s been oblivious to Hyungwon’s handsomeness, he’s now noticing _everything_ and it makes him uncomfortable. Anxious. Scared.

Thankfully he makes it through the movie, and exhales a breath of relief at the thought that the others are probably going to go home so that Changkyun could breathe. He was about to say his goodbyes and goodnights and see you laters when Jooheon comes from his bedroom, with all the beddings that they have possible, throwing them to the ground. He looks up to his friend in betrayal who’s a little too lost in having Minhyuk sleep next to him for the night.

Changkyun moves to get up and hopefully slink away in his room when Jooheon speaks up.

“Where you going, Kyun?”

Changkyun looks around and sees six pairs of eyes focused on him. He grimaces, “My room?” He answers weakly.

Kihyun scoffs, “What do you mean your room? There’s plenty of space here,” pointing at the spot next to Hyungwon, who’s now closely watching him.

Changkyun tries to insist that he wants his bed, but Kihyun was having none of it and once Kihyun made up his mind, it was hard to steer him away from it. So Changkyun just tells him that he’s going to get some extra pillows, hoping that by the time he goes to his room back to the living room, that he’d be able to keep his face from heating up at the thought of sleeping next to Hyungwon again. He was taking his sweet time, he knew since he’s been in his room for the past half hour. Kihyun must’ve fallen asleep if he hasn’t knocked on his door.

 _Knock knock_.

Changkyun sighs, he spoke too soon.

“I’m coming, hyung… I’m just putting on pants!” He said. But he doesn’t hear a response and turns around, only to be face to face with Hyungwon.

Hyungwon looks at him questioningly, “Ki’s asleep,”

Changkyun hums, “I guess I’ll sleep in my bed then,” and moves to his previous position on the bed before Minhyuk had rudely interrupted him.

Hyungwon looks like he was about to say something when suddenly, Changkyun feels the bed dip on the other side and finds the older settling in as well.

“H-hyung, wh-what are you doing?” Changkyun stutters.

Hyungwon shrugs, “Sleeping,”

Changkyun scoffs, “I see that. But weren’t you sleeping in the living room?”

Hyungwon opens one of his eyes and looks at the younger, “Yeah, but I didn’t want you to be alone in your room,”

“I’m a big boy. I can handle the monsters under my bed, you know,”

Hyungwon quirks one side of his mouth, “I’m not and I need someone to slay the monsters for me,”

Changkyun was about to get up from his bed and go to the living room because having Hyungwon in his space right now was a little bit overwhelming and he can feel the anxiety and fear, along with the fluttering in his stomach building up. But he feels Hyungwon’s arms circle his waist again, preventing him from getting up.

“Hyung, let go,”

Hyungwon hums, “Nope… you’re warm,”

Changkyun tries to pry his arms off of his waist again, but the struggle was futile as Hyungwon was deceptively strong. Changkyun sighs and just lays back down, admitting defeat. He stares at the ceiling, and hopes that Hyungwon’s even breathing means that he’s fallen asleep. He looks to his side and finds the older staring at him. As if he was trying to figure something out, but was having a hard time coming up with a conclusion.

Changkyun stares back, not knowing for how long, entranced with Hyungwon’s eyes. They were so vulnerable, so open, and Changkyun had felt his anxiety fall apart. While he was hiding himself away, Hyungwon, unknowingly had been giving him his heart.

Changkyun remembers the first day that they had met. Changkyun had been starving but lied that he had already eaten because he forgot his wallet at home and didn’t want to make a bad impression on potential new friends. Hyungwon was sitting next to him then and without a word, slips his plate in front of Changkyun, shrugging nonchalantly, “I already ate,” he said.

Another memory comes to mind. He remembered when he ran into someone, which caused that person to spill coffee all over his white shirt and his research paper that for some reason couldn’t be submitted online. He couldn’t reprint it since printing on campus, _in color_ , cost an arm and a leg. He remembered blasting the person on their group chat and conveniently, Hyungwon was nearby and the older had insisted on paying the printing charge so that Changkyun would make the deadline on time. Not only that, but he also somehow had a spare shirt in his bag since he was on his way to the gym, even though the older had always told them that breathing was enough of an exercise.

Changkyun remembers everything he’s done and couldn’t believe that it’s taken all this time for him to notice that while he was oblivious to every little thing, Hyungwon had paid attention. He wasn’t like Minhyuk or Hoseok, where he showed his affection through hugging and kissing. He wasn’t like Kihyun where he showed his love through nagging, or like Hyunwoo through his reassuring smiles or Jooheon through his pats on the back. Hyungwon had silently given Changkyun his heart, and had paid attention to his needs, without being overbearing, or even wanting anything in return.

He blinks at the sudden flood of information. He tries to wrap his mind around it, and Hyungwon, somehow knowing what’s going through his mind, just smiles and whispers, “It’ll be okay, Kyun,”

And Changkyun, for once in his life, doesn’t overthink over the simple words that were spoken and instead gets closer to Hyungwon, testing the waters and leaving him enough room to pull away if he had wanted. He closes his eyes and Hyungwon smiles even bigger, closing the gap between them and letting the kiss pull them away from the reality of what this might mean for their friendship. Hyungwon moves his arm from Changkyun’s waist and softly caresses his face as he deepens the kiss with the younger. Changkyun welcomes it and puts his hand on Hyungwon’s, holding on to it for dear life, as if letting go would wake him up from this dream.

When they finally pull away to gasp for air,Changkyun looks at Hyungwon and feels himself smile as Hyungwon mirrors his expression. Instead of talking about it like he normally would like, Changkyun moves closer to Hyungwon and puts his head on his chest like he did that one night and clings unto the older, willing for his thoughts to go away.

* * *

Hyungwon wakes up to hairs tickling his face. He blinks his eyes open and smiles, to find that Changkyun didn’t run away like he thought he would. Instead, he was still next to Hyungwon, clutching on his shirt and looking the most peaceful he’s ever seen him. Hyungwon smiles, _he’s really pretty_.

He was about to go back to sleep when he sees the door open. Hyungwon tries not to move too much since Changkyun was a light sleeper and finds Minhyuk and Jooheon hanging by the door, like two dogs wanting a treat. Minhyuk waves his arm, pointing at Changkyun and smiling stupidly as if asking if they had worked it out. Hyungwon shakes his head but smiles and somehow, maybe it was all the years of friendship, that Minhyuk knew exactly what he was saying. Minhyuk pumps his hands in the air in silent celebration and shoos Jooheon away from the door and closes it quietly.

Hyungwon looks down to find that Changkyun was still sound asleep, much to his relief. The younger avoiding him since the night they slept together, was hurtful and while Hyungwon had wanted to knock on his door, demanding an answer or maybe just avoiding the whole topic together, he also knew that Changkyun was the type to come forward once he’s thought enough about it. Hyungwon was the same way.

He remembered meeting the younger for the first time and he’s always known that Changkyun was a pretty boy. A little bit unconventional but he was pretty and handsome at the same time. But Hyungwon had never really paid attention to anyone, especially since no one’s really caught his eyes, but unbeknownst to him, he was already paying attention and doing things for the younger that he would’ve felt was inconvenient had it been for any other person. He’s always known that Changkyun wasn’t the type to flaunt a relationship in front of other people and while he was openly out, Hyungwon has never seen the younger express any interest in anyone from their school. Hyungwon had asked Jooheon once about it and Jooheon had supplied that Changkyun wasn’t entirely lucky when it came to his love life and left it at that.

Hyungwon had just nodded at the new information, but he also knew that none of them had it technically easy. But he had hoped that Changkyun would still somehow give him a shot, even if he couldn’t give Hyungwon his heart in return.

Hyungwon didn’t try to push Changkyun after that night, hoping that the younger would come to him when he was ready. One thing he had to applaud himself for was that he was quite patient. He didn’t treat the younger any different, but he did pay more attention to him than usual. Minhyuk had teased him about his new crush but Minhyuk also knew when to shut his mouth and leave Hyungwon be. Hoseok on the other hand was a different story.

“A little birdie told me that you found someone _quite_ interesting lately,” Hoseok said, sipping his milkshake that was in front of him.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes. Hoseok was as subtle as a freight train. “Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it,”

Hoseok pouts, “Why not?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Hyungwon sighs, “I’m just basically… waiting for him,”

There was really nothing to talk about. Besides that kiss and a few shy touches here and there, Hyungwon was confused as to what Changkyun saw him as. And he was willing to wait it out, especially if it meant that Changkyun would give him a chance.

Hoseok shrugs, “Well you’ve been whipped for the kid since the first day we met him, so I’m just glad that there might be some progress,” he sips his drink, “because you pining away and just looking at him like a damn puppy was a little sad,”

Hyungwon grunts, “I am not a damn puppy! And I haven’t been pining on him since the first day I met him,”

Hoseok gives him a pointed look, “Won, you’ve had heart eyes ever since Jooheon invited him at the diner a couple of years ago. And may I remind you that you gave him your _dinner_?”

“So? That’s what friends are for,”

“You guys were strangers at the time,”

Hyungwon shrugs, “I was being friendly,”

“You don’t like sharing your food,”

“I wasn’t hungry!”

“We went home and you asked me to cook you ramen because your stomach was growling,”

Hyungwon sighs exasperatedly, “Let me live!”

Hoseok just laughs, “All I know is, you’ve never shown interest on anyone before Changkyun but you still had dates here and there. But after Changkyun, you’ve never even went out on a date with anyone… and it’s been a little over a year,”

Hyungwon grunts. He knew that he hasn’t been paying attention to anyone else, he just couldn’t help that no one was interesting. Deep in his mind though, he knew that there was only one person he’s found remotely… captivating.

“How are you and Hyunwoo hyung?” Hyungwon asked, trying to change the subject.

Hoseok pales and continues to sip the rest of his milkshake, forgetting that it might give him a brain freeze. Hyungwon laughs, “Not ready to talk about it. Noted,” he said as Hoseok hits him and blames him for being the reason that his head is currently hurting from the coldness of the drink.

* * *

_It’ll be okay, Kyun_

Changkyun has replayed that night over and over, hoping that somehow, his brain rewinding it multiple times would give him an answer that he can live with. He could tell Hyungwon that he feels the same way and risk their few years of friendship in case it all goes bad. He could deny that he doesn’t like the older and watch him potentially fall for someone else while Changkyun wallows in self pity, but has no one else to blame since it was his fault in the first place. Changkyun grunts and buries his face on the pillow. He wanted to scream out his frustrations but at the same time felt like it was a tad too dramatic, even for him. He appreciates that Hyungwon had given him time to sort out his feelings but at the same time, he was a little frustrated because why couldn’t Hyungwon just tell him what to do. But he also knew that the older wasn’t like that. He wasn’t the type to force something on anyone, even if it benefitted him.

Jooheon knocks on his door and Changkyun mumbles, “Come in,”

Changkyun can’t currently see Jooheon’s expression since his own face is basically buried in the pillow but somehow, maybe it was their platonic soulmate slash best friend telepathy that he already knew how Jooheon looked. If he had to guess, Jooheon’s face was probably in between a grimace and a frown, with his eyebrows furrowing, giving him early onset wrinkles and his mouth turned down. Changkyun briefly looks up from his wallowing to check if he was correct. He was.

Jooheon sighs, “Why are you being so damn difficult?”

“I’m not being difficult,” he mumbles to the pillow.

“You are! You already know hyung likes you! Hell he’s liked you since the dawn of time!” Jooheon says, plopping down on Changkyun’s bed, squishing the younger closer to the wall.

Changkyun lifts his head up and looks at his friend, “He has not,”

Jooheon rolls his eyes, “You’re a blind idiot. You’re worse that Hyunwoo hyung and Hoseok hyung has been basically wearing his heart on his sleeve!”

Changkyun sighs, “I don’t know what else to do, hyung,”

“Uhh, say yes? Ask him to dinner? Make him your boyfriend?” Jooheon was counting down on his left hand and looks at Changkyun like the answer was obvious, “how many more options you need, man?”

Changkyun knows he’s being difficult for no reason. Any other time he would’ve questioned Jooheon about his certainty on Hyungwon’s feelings but since that night, a lot of things have come to light. How Hyungwon had always helped him out, no matter how inconvenient it might have been for him, how Hyungwon always seemed to not mind Changkyun leeching off of him when it came to food when he’d bite off anyone else’s head had it been Minhyuk or Kihyun, or how Hyungwon would smile at him and somehow know what he’s already thinking of before Changkyun even knew it himself. In the back of his mind, he probably knew the answer, but when it’s staring him in the face, denial seemed to be the best way to deal with it.

Jooheon pats him on the back, “Figure it out, Kyun. We can’t have the two of you _and_ the two buff hyungs to be tiptoeing around each other… it’s too much for the three of us,”

Changkyun hits Jooheon’s retreating back with his pillow, to which his best friend just flicks him off.

Changkyun goes back to his pillow and contemplates on yelling and muffling out his screams when he remembers another memory. A more recent one.

All of them were eating at the regular diner when Changkyun’s phone beeped. He had almost dropped it from all the nervousness that he was feeling. He wasn’t paying attention to anyone else on the table since his mind has been on the internship that he’s worked so hard for. He knew he had a good shot, but once he heard that beep on his phone and read the email that started with ‘ _we regret to inform you_ ’ Changkyun had basically ran out of the diner, telling his friends that he needed some air. He had gone behind the dumpster, hoping that no one would bother him, since he was basically crying at the lost opportunity. He knew his friends wouldn’t follow him, especially since no one was really paying attention to him anyway. He crouches down to the wall, not caring about how dirty it was or how the smell of bad food was permeating the air. All he could see was that email, telling him that he didn’t get the one thing he worked so hard on. He didn’t even hear the footsteps that were getting louder and closer to where he was hiding.

Suddenly he feels someone hugging him and Changkyun, in his vulnerable state, just melts in the embrace and he remembers softly hearing someone say that it was going to be okay. And while Changkyun would’ve normally shoved that person away and would’ve lashed out for saying such careless words that didn’t have any substance behind them, he looked up at the face and saw such stubbornness and confidence that was portrayed in Hyungwon’s face that Changkyun had no other option but to believe him. Changkyun just nodded and Hyungwon carefully wiped his tears away. Without asking, Hyungwon had taken him back to his dorm, staying with the younger until he had fallen asleep, leaving a bottle of water and aspirin on his bedside. The next day, Hyungwon hadn’t asked, but somehow, without knowing, he knew. And Changkyun never thanked him for it, but in a way, Hyungwon also knew that he was thankful for that night too, even if no words were spoken.

Changkyun stares at the ceiling and remembers that night again, to where Hyungwon had slept with him on his bed and closed the gap between them and crossed their line of friendship. He remembered the same gaze as the night he had found Changkyun crying besides a dumpster. And just like that night, Changkyun couldn’t help but believe the three words he’s said before they had kissed.

Changkyun gets out of his bed, not caring about how he looked and rushed out of the apartment at the epiphany he just experienced. He tells Jooheon that he’d be back, who’s currently FaceTiming Minhyuk, as if they just didn’t see each other a couple of hours ago.As Changkyun says goodbye,he hears Minhyuk from the phone say, “Tell Won I said hi,” Jooheon laughs and Changkyun flicks them off with his middle finger, too happy to care about their teasing.

* * *

Someone was knocking on his door and Hyungwon would normally leave it be, but the knocks grew increasingly aggressive and he didn’t want his neighbors to hate him. He still had to live in the same place for at least a year or so. Hoseok had gone over to Hyunwoo’s for the night, and Hyungwon didn’t have it in himself to pry for the reason.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he paddles over to the door and opens it, “Jesus what was so ur— Changkyun,” he was the last person that Hyungwon had expected to come over so late at night. He had thought that it was one of his neighbors or hell even a drunk Hoseok had come to mind, but Changkyun wasn’t it.

Hyungwon opens his mouth to ask as to why he was here when Changkyun just pushes his shoulder to let himself in. Hyungwon closes the door and tilts his head, “Um… what are you doing here?”

Changkyun was pacing around the house, as if he was trying to psyche himself to say something, but somehow all Hyungwon could see was that he was walking around their living room like a maniac, high on caffeine.

“Changkyun,”

At that, the younger finally stops midway and looks up at Hyungwon. The older sees him gulp and wonders as to what has gotten him so nervous that it couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

Hyungwon furrows his eyebrow in concern, “Kyun, are you okay?”

Changkyun nods, still refusing to talk. So Hyungwon decides to talk for him instead.

“Is Jooheon okay?”

Changkyun nods again.

Hyungwon bites his lip, “Did you… uh, get sexiled?”

Changkyun’s eyes get bigger and smiles, shaking his head this time.

It was Hyungwon’s turn to nod and was about to ask something else but his mind came up blank. He sighs a little tiredly. It’s been a long day, if he was quite honest. Not hearing a peep from Changkyun and making Hyungwon wonder if it was such a good idea to kiss him that night, it’s kind of made Hyungwon a little anxious. He knew he had to be patient, but it was really gnawing at him at the fact that Changkyun might shut him out if he didn’t feel the same, and Hyungwon didn’t want to lose a friend too just because he liked the said friend.

He pushes his hair back and sighs, “Kyun, not that I don’t mind having you he—”

“I like you—”

Hyungwon stops as Changkyun interrupts him, actually shouts the three words that Hyungwon had dreamt about hearing ever since that one night he took home a drunk Changkyun. Hyungwon gapes, not quite believing the younger.

“Say that again,” Hyungwon said, slowly making his way to the middle of the living room, where Changkyun stood, who’s now looking down at the floor.

Changkyun sighed, “I like you, hyung,” he mutters.

Hyungwon would’ve barely missed it, had he not paid close attention, but he smiles and lifts Changkyun’s chin so that the younger was now facing him.

“Say that again,” Hyungwon whispers, slowly closing the gap between him and Changkyun.

Changkyun closes his eyes, his breath fanning Hyungwon’s face, “I like yo—”

He doesn’t get to finish it this time because Hyungwon completely closes the gap between the two of them. Hyungwon takes Changkyun’s face delicately, while the younger loops his arms around Hyungwon’s neck, tiptoeing a little so that the older didn’t completely have to bend down. Changkyun tilts his head a little, opening his mouth, letting Hyungwon deepen the kiss, which the older does. He feels Changkyun smile and Hyungwon returns the favor, now caressing his neck as if he needed to have the younger closer. Changkyun breaks the kiss and Hyungwon chases his lips, to which the younger chuckles.

“I… I’m sorry for taking too much time,”

Hyungwon was in a daze, but shakes his head, “You didn’t… I knew you needed it,” he brushes the younger’s hair away from his face and smiles. “I didn’t want to push you,”

Changkyun grins, “I know… you’ve always been that way and I—I appreciate it,” he says.

Hyungwon hums, taking Changkyun’s wrist and leading him to his bedroom. Changkyun shyly follows, “You need to take me on a date first, hyung… I’m not that easy,”

Hyungwon chuckles, remembering a similar conversation with a drunker Changkyun and flicks his forehead like he did that night, “Idiot… I’m tired and I just wanted to cuddle,”

Changkyun’s cheeks redden but laughs anyway, settling on Hyungwon’s bed. He didn’t how they fitted before but once he moved around and once they had faced each other, sleeping on their side, the bed didn’t seem that small.

Hyungwon turns the light off and pulls Changkyun to himself, liking the way the younger had smelled. Clean, subtle… so much like Changkyun.

“Hyung,” Changkyun mutters against his chest.

Hyungwon hums, a slight indication that he was slightly awake.

“When did you know you liked me?”

Hyungwon looks down to find Changkyun already looking up at him, waiting for an answer. He smiles, “If you had asked Hoseok, he would’ve said the first night I met you. But for me personally, it was around that time I had to take you home after that party… I had to hook my chain to your belt loop because you kept running away at any chance you got,” Hyungwon laughs while Changkyun tries to bury his embarrassment by pressing his face closer to his chest, “it was cute, Kyun. But anyways, we were walking home and suddenly you sat down, taking me with you and let me say it bruised my ass by the way. But you were just looking at a flower, a small flower in front of a convenience store and I didn’t have the heart to tell you that it probably was a weed,” he moves Changkyun’s hair out of his face and tilts the younger’s face so that their eyes would meet, “it was that time that I noticed how pretty you were,” Hyungwon said as he kisses Changkyun’s forehead softly.

Changkyun smiles, “I think for me, it was around the same night, but when we fell asleep together… I woke up in the middle of the night because I remembered feeling hot, and I looked up and saw you asleep with your arms around me,” he said as Hyungwon just smiles.

He didn’t remember Changkyun waking up during that night, but then again, there could be a war going on outside and Hyungwon wouldn’t wake up.

Changkyun continues to fiddle with Hyungwon’s shirt, “I’ve never been much for skinship but I remembered feeling happy, just with your arms around me… I—I felt secure and I’ve never had that feeling before,” he sighs, “then I started paying more attention and started remembering so many things that you’ve done for me. And I never thanked you, especially for that night… it might not seem like much, but I really appreciated it at the time,” he said.

Hyungwon hums as he waits for Changkyun to continue.

“Not gonna lie, I felt like it was the end of the world. And it pisses me off at the thought that someone only got that opportunity because of connections and money,” he sighs, “But I remembered not wanting to feel that way again. I didn’t want to lose something that might help me become a better person… and it made me realize that I didn’t want to lose you,” he turns to look up at Hyungwon, “I wanna be happy with you, hyung. And I know it won’t be like that everyday, but I want to at least try… and hope that even if something goes wrong, that the foundation for our friendship is strong enough to withstand it. I like you a lot, Chae Hyungwon,” he finishes.

Hyungwon smiles, “And I like you a lot, Im Changkyun,” he hugs the younger closer, putting his head on top of his, “I like you so much, you have no idea. Even if you can’t give me all of you, I’ll be patient enough until you do,”

Changkyun grips his waist tighter and falls asleep with a smile on his face. For once, he didn’t want to overthink. For once, he wanted to live in the moment. And more than anything, he had wanted to believe Hyungwon’s comforting words and believe that it will really be all okay. Right now, he was in the arms of someone that liked him and wouldn’t mind risking it all just to be happy. So why couldn’t Changkyun do the same? If not for Hyungwon, for himself. He wanted to be happy, and Hyungwon could give him that… the happiness that he’s always craved. As Hyungwon tightens his grip around Changkyun’s waist, the younger settles against his chest and breathes him in. They had each other, and for now? That was enough for Changkyun.

**Author's Note:**

> Me: stop writing about hyungkyun  
> Also me: choosing hyungkyun anytime I see an au prompt
> 
> Also, this was somehow very loosely based off of a twitter au that I really liked (even though I don’t have an account) by @wonkyunrs. She had a small story about ShowHo that revolved around their 'mirror' performance and HyungKyun were kind of together but not? in that story and I just wanted to explore the feelings that they had and how it went from a platonic to a romantic relationship. Changkyun was kind of explaining it to Hoseok as to when he saw Hyungwon in a different light (around update #111) and I thought it was kinda realistic and cute! She's an awesome writer! Check out her stories when you can and has an ongoing Wonkyun au right now. 
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are welcomed. Thank you for reading!


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